Feeding & Oral Motor Skills

Feeding difficulties and picky eating can range from mild selectivity to serious swallowing disorders (dysphagia). While most children go through typical picky eating phases, some have more significant feeding challenges that require professional support. Understanding the difference between normal picky eating and problematic feeding helps you know when to seek help.

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4 external resources

Normal Picky Eating vs. Feeding Disorders

Almost all children become somewhat 'picky' during toddlerhood—this is a normal developmental phase. However, some children have more significant feeding difficulties that go beyond typical selectivity and may indicate a feeding disorder requiring professional intervention.

Understanding the difference helps parents know when to be patient with normal phases versus when to seek evaluation.

Normal Picky Eating

  • Eats 30+ different foods across all food groups
  • May refuse foods temporarily but eventually accepts them back
  • Tries new foods (even if they reject them initially)
  • Eats differently at home vs. school/grandparents' house
  • Mealtimes are generally manageable (minor protests)
  • Growing appropriately on their growth curve
  • Will eat when hungry, even if not preferred food

Signs of a Feeding Problem

  • Eats fewer than 20 different foods
  • Drops foods and doesn't regain them
  • Refuses entire food groups or textures
  • Gags, chokes, or vomits frequently during meals
  • Has extreme texture aversions (only purees, avoids all crunchy, etc.)
  • Mealtime tantrums lasting 30+ minutes
  • Not gaining weight appropriately or falling off growth curve
  • Will not eat even when hungry if preferred food unavailable
  • Feeding difficulties significantly affecting family life

Types of Feeding Difficulties

Pediatric Feeding Disorder (PFD)

  • New diagnostic term recognizing feeding difficulties as medical condition
  • Involves impaired oral intake not appropriate for age
  • May include medical, nutritional, skill-based, and/or psychosocial dysfunction
  • Requires interdisciplinary assessment and treatment
  • Replaces older terms like 'failure to thrive' or 'feeding aversion'

Dysphagia (Swallowing Disorders)

  • Difficulty with any stage of swallowing (oral, pharyngeal, esophageal)
  • Can occur at any age, including infancy
  • May cause aspiration (food/liquid entering airway)
  • Requires evaluation by SLP and possibly instrumental assessment
  • Common in children with neurological conditions or developmental delays

ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder)

  • Eating disturbance causing failure to meet nutritional needs
  • Not related to body image concerns (unlike anorexia)
  • May involve sensory-based avoidance, lack of interest in food, or fear
  • Can cause significant nutritional deficiencies or weight loss
  • Often requires mental health support alongside feeding therapy

The SOS Approach to Feeding

The Sequential Oral Sensory (SOS) Approach, developed by Dr. Kay Toomey, is an evidence-based method for expanding food acceptance in picky eaters. It recognizes that eating is a complex sensory experience and helps children move through a hierarchy of food interaction at their own pace.

The Steps to Eating Hierarchy

  • Step 1: Tolerates food in the room (can see it without distress)
  • Step 2: Tolerates food on the table/plate
  • Step 3: Interacts with food (touches, picks up, plays with it)
  • Step 4: Smells food (brings close to nose)
  • Step 5: Touches food to lips/face
  • Step 6: Tastes food (tongue, then teeth)
  • Step 7: Chews food
  • Step 8: Swallows food

Key Principles

  • Never force children to eat—pressure backfires
  • Make mealtimes positive and low-stress
  • Small, repeated exposures work better than forcing
  • Playing with food is encouraged and therapeutic!
  • Progress may be slow—celebrate every small step
  • Children eat better when they feel in control
  • It can take 20+ exposures before a child accepts a new food

Oral Motor Skills and Feeding

Oral motor skills are the movements of the muscles in the mouth, face, and throat that are needed for feeding and speech. Some children have weakness, low muscle tone, or coordination difficulties that affect their ability to eat safely and efficiently.

Signs of oral motor difficulties during feeding include: drooling beyond age 2, food falling out of mouth, difficulty chewing thoroughly, pocketing food in cheeks, gagging on textures, difficulty drinking from cups or straws, and messy eating beyond what's expected for age.

Oral Motor Activities (with professional guidance)

  • Blowing bubbles, pinwheels, whistles, or party blowers
  • Drinking through straws (use thicker liquids for more challenge)
  • Chewing on safe chewy tubes or foods
  • Making silly faces in the mirror (exaggerated movements)
  • Playing with tongue (touching nose, chin, cheeks)
  • Licking food off lips, spoons, or lollipops
  • Vibration tools for sensory input (designed for oral use)

Creating Positive Mealtimes

Family Mealtime Structure

  • Offer meals and snacks at scheduled, predictable times
  • Provide variety of foods including at least one 'safe' food
  • Keep mealtimes to 20-30 minutes—avoid marathon meals
  • Model positive eating behavior (adults eat same foods)
  • Use the Division of Responsibility: Parents decide what/when/where; child decides whether/how much
  • Keep mealtime conversation positive—avoid food battles
  • Turn off screens during meals

Food Exploration/Play (Separate from Meals)

  • Focus on exploration and interaction, not eating
  • Playful, fun, zero-pressure atmosphere
  • Use messy play activities involving food
  • Work through the food hierarchy systematically
  • No expectation to eat anything during food play
  • Schedule separately from regular mealtimes
  • Involve child in food prep and cooking

Sensory Considerations in Feeding

Many feeding difficulties have a sensory component. Children may be oversensitive (hypersensitive) to textures, temperatures, flavors, or smells, or they may be undersensitive (hyposensitive) and need more intense sensory input. Occupational therapists specializing in sensory processing often work alongside SLPs on feeding.

  • Texture sensitivity: Avoids certain textures (lumpy, mixed, crunchy, slimy)
  • Temperature sensitivity: Only accepts food at specific temperatures
  • Flavor intensity: Prefers very bland or very intense flavors
  • Smell sensitivity: Gags at food smells
  • Visual sensitivity: Food appearance matters greatly (brands, colors)
  • Oral hypersensitivity: Even soft touches to face/mouth cause distress
  • Sensory seeking: May overstuff mouth or prefer very crunchy/chewy foods

Who Treats Feeding Problems?

Feeding difficulties often require an interdisciplinary team approach. Different professionals address different aspects of feeding.

  • Speech-Language Pathologists (SLPs): Oral motor skills, swallowing safety, food advancement
  • Occupational Therapists (OTs): Sensory processing, mealtime positioning, self-feeding skills
  • Dietitians/Nutritionists: Nutritional adequacy, growth monitoring, supplements
  • Pediatricians/GI specialists: Medical causes, reflux, allergies, growth concerns
  • Psychologists: Behavioral feeding issues, anxiety around food, ARFID
  • Some clinics offer interdisciplinary feeding teams for complex cases

When to Seek Help Immediately

  • Choking or coughing during most meals or with liquids
  • Wet or gurgly voice during or after eating/drinking
  • Recurring pneumonia or respiratory infections
  • Pain when swallowing
  • Failure to thrive, weight loss, or falling off growth curve
  • Complete refusal to eat or drink
  • Blue coloring during feeding (in infants)
  • Significant aspiration risk

Expert Tips

Division of Responsibility

Follow Ellyn Satter's Division of Responsibility: Parents decide WHAT food is offered, WHEN meals occur, and WHERE eating happens. Children decide WHETHER to eat and HOW MUCH. This reduces pressure and food battles.

Food Chaining

Build on foods your child already accepts by making small changes. If they eat chicken nuggets, try a different brand, then try homemade, then try baked chicken strips. Small steps build the food repertoire.

Repeated Exposure Without Pressure

Research shows it can take 10-20+ exposures before a child accepts a new food. Keep offering foods without pressure. Today's rejected food may be tomorrow's favorite—but only if eating isn't a battle.

Still Have Questions?

Our team is here to help. Book a free consultation to discuss your concerns and learn how we can support you or your child.