Social Communication & Pragmatics

Pragmatics refers to the social rules of communication—knowing what to say, how to say it, when to say it, and to whom. Social communication skills are essential for making friends, succeeding in school, and navigating daily life. Children with social communication difficulties may struggle with conversations, making friends, understanding unwritten social rules, and interpreting nonverbal cues.

7 sections
4 pro tips
4 external resources

What is Pragmatic Language?

Pragmatic language encompasses the social aspects of communication—the 'rules' that help us interact effectively with others. While grammar and vocabulary are important, pragmatics is about how we use language in real social situations.

Pragmatic skills develop throughout childhood and are learned through modeling and social interaction. Some children pick up social communication naturally, while others need explicit instruction to understand these often unspoken rules.

Key Pragmatic Skills

  • Using language for different purposes (requesting, greeting, informing, protesting)
  • Changing language for different listeners (talking to a baby vs. an adult)
  • Following conversational rules (taking turns, staying on topic, not interrupting)
  • Using appropriate nonverbal communication (eye contact, facial expressions, gestures)
  • Understanding and respecting personal space
  • Reading the emotional state of others
  • Understanding implied meaning (hints, sarcasm, idioms)

Nonverbal Communication Components

  • Eye contact: Appropriate amount and timing
  • Facial expressions: Reading and using them appropriately
  • Body language and posture: What they communicate
  • Gestures: Using and understanding them
  • Proxemics: Personal space and distance
  • Tone of voice: Interpreting and using vocal cues

Social Communication Disorder (SCD)

Social Communication Disorder is a diagnosis for individuals who have significant difficulties with verbal and nonverbal social communication that cannot be explained by low cognitive ability. SCD was recognized as a distinct diagnosis in 2013.

SCD differs from autism spectrum disorder (ASD) in that individuals with SCD do not have the restricted interests and repetitive behaviors seen in ASD. However, social communication difficulties ARE a feature of autism, and many children with autism also receive social communication intervention.

  • Difficulty using communication for social purposes (greeting, sharing information)
  • Problems adapting communication to context (formal vs. casual situations)
  • Challenges following rules of conversation (turn-taking, staying on topic)
  • Difficulty understanding non-literal language (idioms, humor, metaphors)
  • Affects academic, social, and/or occupational functioning
  • Not explained by autism, intellectual disability, or other conditions

Common Signs of Social Communication Difficulties

Conversation Challenges

  • Difficulty starting conversations with peers
  • Trouble taking turns (interrupting or not responding)
  • Going off topic or dominating conversations with own interests
  • Difficulty ending conversations appropriately
  • Giving too much or too little information
  • Not responding to listener cues (boredom, confusion)

Social Understanding

  • Missing social cues (facial expressions, body language, tone)
  • Taking language too literally (missing jokes, sarcasm, idioms)
  • Difficulty understanding others' perspectives (theory of mind)
  • Not recognizing when someone is upset, bored, or confused
  • Difficulty predicting others' behavior or intentions

Social Relationships

  • Difficulty making or keeping friends
  • Preferring to play alone or with adults
  • Not understanding 'unwritten rules' of peer groups
  • Being too blunt or honest without considering others' feelings
  • Difficulty with group dynamics and teamwork

Nonverbal Challenges

  • Difficulty with appropriate eye contact
  • Standing too close or too far during conversation
  • Using unusual facial expressions or tone of voice
  • Not using or misinterpreting gestures
  • Difficulty reading body language and facial expressions

Evidence-Based Intervention Approaches

Social Skills Groups

  • Structured practice with peers under therapist guidance
  • Opportunities to practice skills in a safe environment
  • Feedback and coaching in real-time
  • Learning from peer models
  • Often includes role-play and activities

Social Stories

  • Short written stories explaining social situations and expectations
  • Describe the situation, relevant cues, and appropriate responses
  • Can be customized for specific challenging situations
  • Read before the situation occurs to prepare the child
  • Developed by Carol Gray—available resources online

Video Modeling

  • Children watch videos of appropriate social behavior
  • Can use pre-made videos or create custom videos
  • Video self-modeling: Child watches themselves demonstrating good skills
  • Allows repeated viewing and discussion
  • Research-supported approach, especially for autism

Social Thinking Curriculum

  • Evidence-based approach developed by Michelle Garcia Winner
  • Teaches social cognition—the 'thinking' behind social behavior
  • Concepts like 'thinking with your eyes' and 'expected vs. unexpected' behavior
  • Materials available for different age groups
  • Used by SLPs, educators, and parents

Comic Strip Conversations

  • Visual representations of conversations using simple drawings
  • Shows what people are saying and thinking
  • Helps children understand the relationship between thoughts and communication
  • Useful for analyzing past social situations
  • Developed by Carol Gray (same creator as Social Stories)

Strategies for Parents

Preparation and Practice

  • Prepare your child before social events (who will be there, what to expect)
  • Role-play challenging situations in advance
  • Practice specific skills (greetings, joining play, conversation starters)
  • Use puppets, dolls, or action figures to model interactions
  • Create scripts for predictable situations

Visual Supports

  • Social stories for specific situations
  • Visual conversation cue cards
  • Turn-taking indicators ('my turn'/'your turn')
  • Emotion charts and thermometers
  • Visual schedules for social events

Real-Time Coaching

  • Give private, subtle reminders when needed (a signal or word)
  • Avoid correcting publicly—it increases embarrassment
  • Position yourself nearby during challenging situations
  • Use 'sportscasting'—narrate positive behaviors you observe
  • Intervene early before situations escalate

Reflection and Learning

  • Debrief after social situations (what went well, what was hard)
  • Watch TV shows together and discuss characters' feelings and motivations
  • Read books and discuss characters' perspectives
  • Problem-solve together: 'What could you do next time?'
  • Celebrate social successes, no matter how small

The Hidden Curriculum

The 'hidden curriculum' refers to the unspoken social rules and expectations that most people learn implicitly but that children with social communication difficulties often miss. These rules are rarely taught directly but are assumed to be 'common sense.'

Children with social communication challenges often need these hidden rules explicitly taught. Once aware of them, many children can learn to follow them—they just needed them spelled out.

Examples of Hidden Rules

  • Personal space varies by relationship and culture
  • Small talk serves a social purpose, even if it seems 'pointless'
  • Some questions are rhetorical (not meant to be answered literally)
  • People don't always mean exactly what they say (politeness, hints)
  • What's appropriate in one setting may not be in another
  • Facial expressions and tone often communicate more than words
  • When someone looks at their watch, they might want to end the conversation

Building Social Opportunities

Children need practice to develop social skills, but the right kind of practice matters. Structured activities with clear expectations are often easier than unstructured free play.

  • Arrange playdates with one peer (less overwhelming than groups)
  • Choose activities with built-in structure (games, projects, cooking)
  • Consider your child's interests—shared interests make connection easier
  • Sports teams and clubs provide structured social interaction
  • Social skills groups offer safe practice environments
  • Adult-facilitated activities may be easier than unsupervised play initially

Signs Your Child May Need Support

  • Difficulty making or keeping friends
  • Prefers to play alone or only with adults
  • Frequently misunderstands social situations
  • Takes language too literally (misses jokes, sarcasm)
  • Has been described as 'rude' or 'inappropriate' without meaning to be
  • Doesn't pick up on others' emotions or reactions
  • Struggles with group work at school
  • Difficulty with changes in routine or expectations
  • You notice significant differences compared to same-age peers

Expert Tips

The Hidden Curriculum

Many social rules are unspoken and assumed. Children with social communication difficulties often need these 'hidden rules' explicitly taught: personal space, when to use formal vs. casual language, how to read a room, and what facial expressions mean.

Practice Makes Progress

Social skills improve with practice, but the right kind of practice. Structured activities with clear expectations are often easier than unstructured free play. One-on-one playdates may be less overwhelming than group situations.

Prepare, Don't Repair

Preparing your child before social situations is more effective than correcting them after. Role-play, social stories, and discussing expectations ahead of time help children succeed.

Media as a Teaching Tool

TV shows, movies, and books provide safe opportunities to discuss social situations. Pause to discuss: 'How do you think she feels? Why did he do that? What might happen next?'

Still Have Questions?

Our team is here to help. Book a free consultation to discuss your concerns and learn how we can support you or your child.